The following is an excerpt from a (fictional) interview between a (fictional) journalist and spaceship executive, at the (fictional) Really Fast Spaceships Conference in the year 4200. The journalist’s words are in bold, and the executive’s are in plaintext.
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So we have heard all about this spaceship. You said it’s the best spaceship and that it’s going to change the deep space racing circuit forever. That sounds impressive. Tell me about it.
Hey, well, great to be here. You know it took decades of spaceship research to arrive at this moment. And we believe this new spaceship is going to change racing forever. It’s not just a spaceship—it’s a new way of beating the competition on the race circuit.
That sounds fancy. But what can you tell me about the ship itself?
We built a team of the most cracked spaceship researchers. These people built products at SpaceCorp and FastShips and all the rest. The ship uses a new theory of aerodynamics to cut through intermittent solar winds. It collects the most data of any spaceship ever, which helps pilots react faster to live conditions. These are just a few of the things it can do.
Okay, but—and I apologize for being so direct—is it actually faster than other ships?
Our spaceship burns more fuel than any other spaceship, which is landmark. Recently, one customer said that during a race our ship burned as much fuel as twenty traditional ships.
Did they win the race?
During the race they hit a number of records: most fuel ever burned (which I just mentioned), fewest people on board the ship during a live race, fastest dashboard refresh rate, most comfortable spaceship bathroom, fastest speed ever achieved in a race, also the coolest-looking spaceship.
Did they win?
The pilots also achieved a record for least amount of pilot input.
Okay, I get it, there are records, but… Did they win? What place did they come in?
The other record we got was for furthest deviation from the racetrack during the race.
That sounds ominous. Did they even finish the race?
Yes! They did.
There has been some reporting that speed is not the only thing that matters in space racing. There are many critics who say your spaceship is not actually going to change the space circuit as much as you say it is.
Of course this is nonsense, and both you and these critics would learn as much if you simply spoke with our customers. All of them tell us that it is a remarkable feat of innovation, and that their pilots find themselves with so much more leverage and so many more abilities to win races. They tell us it is truly a new page in the history of space racing. They tell us their investors are very pleased that they are using our spaceship.
But did any of your customers win? With your new ship?
Some of them.
More than before?
Some of the time.
Okay, well. That’s time, I guess. Thank you for the interview and best of luck with your spaceship. I truly hope it ends up being the winner you say it is. Time will tell.