There is a kid I don’t really like.
I guess I shouldn’t call him a kid; he’s a young man. This kid is annoying to me for a bunch of reasons. He claims to be ambitious but he mostly thinks short term. He takes himself too seriously and thinks he is a lot more skilled than he is. He often makes embarrassing mistakes in life and with friends and in relationships. Despite this, he views himself as a lot smarter and more mature than other people his age.
Here’s the thing. That young man was actually me, less than ten years ago.
Isn’t that a bit weird? Here is this guy I don’t like at all. And guess what, he’s me.
(The kid might still be me, in ways I don't understand yet, to a future version of myself.)
We can change so dramatically, and we are often so sympathetic to our own personal trajectories. We make excuses for our past selves. We think about how glad we are that we’ve grown up since then. We are generous to ourselves: past, present and future.
And yet I feel like we don’t incorporate this nearly enough into our interactions with other people. When you meet someone, do you see them as a point in time? Or on a journey? Do you see them as someone who is developing and changing, or do you label them and move on?
There are so many people in my life who were caring and kind and helpful to that annoying young man I don’t like. The man I used to be. And it may be thanks to them that the annoying young man turned into a version of himself that I am a little bit happier about.
You could meet an annoying kid, and they might end up turning into someone you really admire. Some of that transformation might even depend on how you treat them.
None of us are the same kid anymore.