I used to struggle with life. I still do sometimes. But things have gotten a lot better since I started writing things down. Things that, if I do them, make life a little nicer to live. And now it’s really easy. I just have to remember all of these things, all of the time. And I have to do them. Always. Easy!

You can live the life of your dreams too. If, like me, you only remember and follow this list.

Bonus fact: if you read the below list then you are also exempt from ever having to read a self-help book again.

  • Think for yourself.

  • Call your parents.

  • Drink more water.

  • Chew slowly.

  • Keep your shoes clean.

  • Eat when you're hungry, not bored.

  • Be on time.

  • Admit what you don't know.

  • Save receipts.

  • Buy less.

  • Drink water first.

  • Reply when people message you.

  • Learn everyone's story.

  • Ask for directions.

  • Read the ingredients.

  • Walk in the rain sometimes.

  • Take the scenic route.

  • Forgive yourself.

  • Call your grandparents.

  • Sleep on big decisions.

  • Finish the book. Or don’t, if it’s bad.

  • Keep your kitchen clean.

  • Close the cabinet.

  • Sharpen your knives.

  • Own a flashlight.

  • Replace dead batteries.

  • Carry a reusable bag.

  • Water the plants.

  • Feed your guests.

  • Leave a bigger tip.

  • Wear clothes that fit.

  • Polish your shoes.

  • Iron your shirt.

  • Learn to sew a button.

  • Fix small problems early.

  • Replace broken things.

  • Oil squeaky hinges.

  • Keep a first aid kit.

  • Do the dishes before going to bed.

  • Learn CPR.

  • Know your blood type.

  • Stretch before lifting.

  • Warm up first.

  • Cool down after.

  • Breathe deeply.

  • Don't skip breakfast every day.

  • Eat vegetables first.

  • Drink less sugar.

  • Taste before seasoning.

  • Clean your grill.

  • Wash your water bottle.

  • Eat at the table.

  • Put the cart away.

  • Return the favor.

  • Introduce your friends.

  • Make the first move.

  • Wave at your neighbors.

  • Learn your neighbor's name.

  • Keep in touch.

  • RSVP promptly.

  • Bring something to share.

  • Host dinner.

  • Thank the cook.

  • Offer dessert.

  • Help clean up.

  • Leave before you're asked.

  • Respect quiet.

  • Knock first.

  • Replace what you finish.

  • Refill the ice tray.

  • Close the gate.

  • Lock the bike.

  • Carry an umbrella.

  • Expect traffic.

  • Keep extra socks.

  • Bring a towel.

  • Wear a helmet.

  • Learn to change a tire.

  • Read the map.

  • Know north.

  • Pack lighter.

  • Carry less.

  • Borrow books.

  • Wake up without hitting snooze.

  • Keep your nails clean.

  • Read the instructions.

  • Check twice.

  • Measure twice.

  • Cut once.

  • Make fewer assumptions.

  • Trust, then verify.

  • Finish today's work today.

  • Leave some margin.

  • Rest before you're exhausted.

  • Keep your weekends meaningful.

  • Put your keys in the same place.

  • Keep a spare key.

  • Label the box.

  • Organize once.

  • Declutter often.

  • Throw away broken things.

  • Repair what matters.

  • Own tools.

  • Learn how to use them.

  • Borrow less.

  • Lend generously.

  • Expect nothing in return.

  • Let people surprise you.

  • Keep your expectations realistic.

  • Avoid unnecessary drama.

  • Don't create emergencies.

  • Stay calm under pressure.

  • Solve the problem in front of you.

  • Fix the leak.

  • Tighten the screw.

  • Sweep the floor.

  • Wipe the counter.

  • Air out the room.

  • Make your home welcoming.

  • Light a candle.

  • Play good music.

  • Cook for someone.

  • Share your recipe.

  • Learn one signature dish.

  • Eat with other people.

  • Set the table.

  • Clear your plate.

  • Drink responsibly.

  • Know your limits.

  • Walk home if you can.

  • Leave the party gracefully.

  • Never drive angry.

  • Never text while driving.

  • Fill the tank today.

  • Check your tire pressure.

  • Replace worn-out shoes.

  • Buy fewer gadgets.

  • Read the warranty.

  • Protect your passwords.

  • Use two-factor authentication.

  • Update your software.

  • Unplug occasionally.

  • Close the laptop.

  • Look out the window.

  • Watch the birds.

  • Learn the seasons.

  • Notice the weather.

  • Appreciate ordinary beauty.

  • Keep fresh flowers.

  • Open the blinds.

  • Let sunlight in.

  • Keep fresh air flowing.

  • Wash your car.

  • Clean your glasses.

  • Sharpen your pencil.

  • Keep a notebook.

  • Write by hand.

  • Date your notes.

  • Read your old journals.

  • Keep your handwriting legible.

  • Learn mental math.

  • Estimate before calculating.

  • Understand percentages.

  • Read a map.

  • Learn basic geography.

  • Learn basic history.

  • Know how your government works.

  • Vote in local elections.

  • Serve your community.

  • Volunteer quietly.

  • Give anonymously sometimes.

  • Pick up the phone.

  • Return missed calls.

  • Remember important dates.

  • Visit old friends.

  • Reconnect without an agenda.

  • Be easier to forgive.

  • Hold fewer opinions.

  • Ask why.

  • Ask how.

  • Admit uncertainty.

  • Listen for what's unsaid.

  • Read the room.

  • Respect personal space.

  • Keep confidences.

  • Don't betray trust.

  • Defend people who aren't present.

  • Compliment sincerely.

  • Accept compliments gracefully.

  • Encourage beginners.

  • Share what you've learned.

  • Celebrate effort.

  • Reward consistency.

  • Focus on fundamentals.

  • Learn the rules first.

  • Break them intentionally.

  • Think in decades.

  • Zoom out.

  • Zoom in.

  • Separate facts from feelings.

  • Don't catastrophize.

  • Expect setbacks.

  • Keep perspective.

  • Worry less about appearances.

  • Care more about substance.

  • Chase mastery.

  • Respect expertise.

  • Stay dangerous to complacency.

  • Remain adaptable.

  • Learn something difficult.

  • Say "thank you."

  • Read beyond your field.

  • Stay intellectually honest.

  • Change course when necessary.

  • Finish your sentences.

  • Keep your voice steady.

  • Speak with confidence.

  • Say "I don't know."

  • Mean your apologies.

  • Forgive without announcing it.

  • Be generous with credit.

  • Be stingy with blame.

  • Own your mistakes.

  • Fix what you break.

  • Leave no mess behind.

  • Close what you open.

  • Answer difficult emails.

  • Don't ghost people.

  • Decline politely.

  • Say "I was wrong."

  • Say "please."

  • Follow through.

  • Keep your commitments.

  • Underestimate your certainty.

  • Overestimate the value of kindness.

  • Leave your ego at the door.

  • Protect your peace.

  • Don't chase every opportunity.

  • Miss out on purpose.

  • Make fewer decisions.

  • Simplify your routines.

  • Wear your favorite shirt.

  • Celebrate progress.

  • Enjoy the process.

  • Learn to wait.

  • Resist impulse purchases.

  • Save your best work.

  • Finish before perfecting.

  • Ship it.

  • Keep creating.

  • Make art badly.

  • Build something useful.

  • Plant a tree.

  • Watch something grow.

  • Learn patience from nature.

  • Respect animals.

  • Feed the birds.

  • Leave campsites cleaner.

  • Leave bathrooms cleaner.

  • Thank the janitor.

  • Respect service workers.

  • Learn people's stories.

  • Assume everyone knows something you don't.

  • Don't mistake confidence for competence.

  • Don't mistake charisma for character.

  • Character compounds.

  • Habits compound.

  • Small choices matter.

  • Protect your future self.

  • Forgive your past self.

  • Respect your present self.

  • Choose peace over pride.

  • Stay soft-hearted.

  • Stay clear-minded.

  • Stay grounded.

  • Keep your curiosity alive.

  • Find joy in repetition.

  • Don't rush good moments.

  • Stay until the stars come out.

  • Return the call.

  • Answer honestly.

  • Explain clearly.

  • Keep it simple.

  • Speak precisely.

  • Mean what you say.

  • Watch one less episode.

  • Read one more chapter.

  • End the day with gratitude.

  • Wake up ready to begin.

  • Return books.

  • Support your library.

  • Read poetry.

  • Memorize people's birthdays.

  • Celebrate anniversaries.

  • Show up for funerals.

  • Visit people in the hospital.

  • Print your favorite photos.

  • Frame something meaningful.

  • Watch children play.

  • Listen to old people.

  • Ask your parents questions.

  • Record family stories.

  • Learn your family history.

  • Tell people you love them.

  • Say goodbye properly.

  • Hug longer.

  • Laugh at yourself.

  • Let yourself be wrong.

  • Change the subject.

  • Walk away from pointless arguments.

  • Stay calm in emergencies.

  • Keep your cool.

  • Think long term.

  • Delay gratification.

  • Bring flowers.

  • Write letters.

  • Buy once.

  • Cry less over money.

  • Spend on experiences.

  • Rent before buying.

  • Cancel subscriptions.

  • Read contracts.

  • Ask about fees.

  • Negotiate politely.

  • Keep an emergency fund.

  • Pay your taxes.

  • Budget every month.

  • Track your spending.

  • Ignore status symbols.

  • Never chase trends.

  • Wear the watch.

  • Use the good dishes.

  • Burn the nice candle.

  • Open the expensive bottle.

  • Celebrate Tuesday.

  • Mark the occasion.

  • Take Mondays seriously.

  • Protect your Sundays.

  • Leave room for boredom.

  • Sit in silence.

  • Look up.

  • Notice the trees.

  • Learn the constellations.

  • Watch the moon.

  • Visit the ocean.

  • Climb a mountain.

  • Skip a meeting.

  • Read the plaque.

  • Visit the local bakery.

  • Order something new.

  • Try again.

  • Fail with enthusiasm.

  • Start over.

  • Pivot when necessary.

  • Don't force it.

  • Finish the conversation.

  • Enjoy your life.